The subtle multi-layered air that held me drifts away and I fall into a new sound. A piano riff pounds at me, as subtle as a sledgehammer. In the background, a subtle guitar phrasing seems to mock the elegance that…
Author: LeslieKErnest
Always more down than up, but sometimes up nonetheless.
Slowing down, I was able to feel the wind as it was, dynamic and multi-faceted, rather than as another passing horror whipping past me on my inevitable decline. The wind was gentle in places, the wind had a rhythm, fast…
Row Jimmy
I have a secret. I want the impossible. I want to be safe. I want the impossible. I want my loved ones to be safe. I want the impossible. I want love to be something I can hold onto. I…
Fortune and Chance
And then, because sometimes it must, the improbable happened, and I fell onto something like a leaf. Not knowing who else to thank, I said a prayer to Fortune and Chance. It looked and felt like a leaf. Unlike a…
“Someday everything gunna be different”
Here is a secret. I am fine, just as I am. It is true that I have sinned and hurt people out of fear laziness and habit. It is true, that I will do it again. That harm is real,…
My fall felt as if it was correct. I had set out on a journey to fix something that was immutable. How else could it end? It was not comfortable, but it was comforting to know I no longer needed…
Loser
These beats fill me with a sense of foreboding. They are alluring. Part of me wants to relax into their comforting embrace. Comfort is the shade of a tree that provides well deserved rest after a long day. It is…
I fell from a mushroom cloud. I fell rapidly past the inches I had so painstakingly climbed. My fear was simple. I felt as if I was going to die and I did not want to die. My fear was…
Looks Like Rain
The punctuated notes that mirror our own finite existence fade away. In there place, the music shifts and a unbroken vibration rises up to that mirror my infinite emotions. Love reigns supreme. In the absence of love, the absence of…
Climbing the Mushroom
My search led me to a field of dark speckled flowers. Their thorns tore at me and left my hands bloody. By the time I reached the center I was panting and had to stop to rest. It was dark.…
Ramble On Rose
Nothing is pure. And so, the music is not pure. It is ethereal. It is luminous and a pure expression of itself. As are we all. The voices harmonize and echo and refract off each other. Each word, each note,…
the first one said to me
said to me, “the world you know will burn.” I said “I know.” The next one I went to see, said to me, “the world you know will burn.” I said “this place is vast. So, you’ll have to be…
Feel Like A Stranger
At first the song seemed awful. The piano was relentless and artificial. The lyrics evoked lust across a barroom floor – unfulfilling and empty. It’s often not wise to simply accept what the world gives. But… I decided to take…
Jam
Bee’s sense the world through electromagnetic waves. What does they see? What do they know? Music moves through time. Time is how the mind interprets a certain kind of movement. The world we see is a hallucination, tethered to our…
Again?
Most of the stuff written before now has been repurposed and refined for inclusion in the book Shambolic Wind Chimes. Some exceptions can be found here.
Without this costume that I wore
He wants to write a love song An anthem of forgiving A manual for living with defeat A cry above the suffering A sacrifice recovering But that isn’t what I want him to complete I want to make him certain…
they set out together
90 seconds For ninety seconds after, there was complete silence. Veronica knew this because although she was too dazed to move, she improbably found herself staring as at the second hand of an expensive silver watch. It was one of…
Paul Watson – What I want is peace
Paul Watson: The big question, you know, “What do we really want?”. I used to say happiness… And then it took me some time to come around to understanding that what we really want is love. In the sense of…
Tom Waits 2
I imagine myself as a sort of indie folk musician, illuminating my inner world through ukulele cover songs. But not everything can be encapsulated in that medium. So this will play over the speakers after I walk offstage.
Tom Waits 1
My current goal as an author is to get my stories down to this level of efficiency : Down by the Riverside motel, it’s 10 below and falling by a 99 cent store she closed her eyes and started swaying…
The bell
There is a bell That signifies freedom It has a crack in it (ya know, so the light can get in). So nobody dares touch it But here’s the thing It may have another good ring in it h/t Franklin’s…
Remo tells a story
Occasionally when Remo feels expansive he goes to the mountains and listens to the universe. Occasionally when Remo feels hopeless he finds a tavern and poses as a bard. He stands on the stage until he finds something to say,…
Fleeting Joy
On the morning of his birthday, as the first light made its way through the dense foliage and into the cave camber, Narch stared at the empty wooden table and thought about cake. Marline, one of his few female friends,…
advertised as poetry
came back to nothing special such as waiting rooms and ticket lines, silver bullet suicides, and messianic ocean tides, and racial roller-coaster rides, and other forms of boredom advertised as poetry. – L. Cohen
God is a concept
Let the record show that I took the time to share this with you. Note: the demo from Wonsaponatime,
My Star Wars Pitch
Kylo, Poe and Han Solo stop off in a seedy bar following rumors about the whereabouts of Luke. As the camera pans the room, the audience sees a variety of bizarre, but strangely familiar alien forms. Without warning, Hans face…
Bob Dylan said that…
Predilection: Encountering the Unknown
I think about this video often. This is how I want to respond to the unfamiliar. Like Mr. Rogers responded to breakdancing.
Music
“Music, uniquely among the arts, is both completely abstract and profoundly emotional. It has no power to represent anything particular or external, but it has a unique power to express inner states or feelings. Music can pierce the heart directly;…
Music videos
I am sucpicious of the idea of “guilty” pleasures. But here are two things that bring me more joy than I can find any reasonable explanation for.
Context collapse
For context, this was written about YouTube vloggers, but I don’t think that’s all that relevant here. The problem is not lack of context. It is context collapse: an infinite number of contexts collapsing upon one another into that single…
Read this: Robots are coming for your job
recommended: Robots are coming for your job. That might not be bad news The problem with automation isn’t technology. The problem is capitalism.
Luke’s Cantrip
The first spell I really mastered was Luke’s cantrip. While on the road from Halrventon to Freesebon, Gera realized that Krashin was too busy being a demigod to actually teach me anything, so he took pity on me. I was…
Immune to symbols
When you are blind you do not see blackness. Find an object just at the outer edge of your vision, now turn your head away from it slightly. The way in which you can no longer see it, is what…
I want to find some new way to shine a light on the importance of love. I started out with an incredible sense that the world had rules. That somewhere, someone wise had a plan, and was watching over things.…
ugly things
A novelist and memoirist is famous for his deeply personal confessional novels that speak to our shared fears. The pains of our bodies, the dark thoughts we have about ourselves and how that makes us lash out at the ones…
Predilections
Some time ago I began to let go of the compulsion to find the perfect (or even a great) way to phrase my thoughts. So how is this category of posts any differant? Other posts sacrifice clarity for my…
What does that amount to? The illusion of depth.
I am drowning in thoughts and opinions that want to be polished and turned into something with some emotional heft. A song that evokes a simpler, timeless past. On the surface, it’s about the power of love. A tinge of…
The starlight on the sand has no ideals
A red light reflects on a window. Striving for significance. A dew drop forms in the morning, and slides gracefully down a leaf. A couple heading for divorce write a perfect song. The starlight on the sand has no ideals.
Larry Lessig and a Brief Digression into Politics
Larry Lessig peered deep into the heart of our democracy and found it lacking. So he tried to do something about it.
Death
Someone important is dieing. Maybe it’s a Good Death, whatever that means. Maybe not. It’s hard to tell from here. It’s easy to find compassion for them now. To accept the totality of how they are in the world. It’s…
Uncertainty
Here is what I think I know. Sometimes things happen. A lot of follows from previous actions; but in important ways it all has an underlying uncertainty – a randomness- that I try desperately to control. I generate all these…
The doomed beauty of trying
My first album would be titled: no longer unreleased. My second (hopefully superior) album would be titled: released My masterpiece would be titled: The doomed beauty of trying … Then everything would be differant.
A momentary embrace
She leaned forward, and after a dazed moment so did he. This embrace was not about Their unarticulated feelings Promises of safety or shelter Resolution The future This embrace was about: one of them was suffering, and the other wanted…
With that comfort, he leapt off the ledge into the unknown.
Once upon a time, the sound of their pursuit would have left him consumed by terror. His left leg, already injured, twisted as a rock flew out beneath him. He kept running. The hastily tended gash on his side pulled…
Madman with a mask
In a tower within a tower, there sat a man who would be King. He looked like a well groomed Yeti. Most of his time was spent plotting. Today he was struggling to compose his thoughts. For now, all his…
A life, cut
At some point during my teenage years, a tree trunk appeared in my front yard. I do not recall how. Rather than removing it right away, I asked my parents if I could try my hand at chopping the trunk…
Winter is Coming
16 clowns walk on the water. The lake frozen over in the spring. Winter is coming.
David Letterman – Top Ten Reasons I, Dave, Love Candy
Top Ten Reasons I, Dave, Love Candy Tuesday, October 30, 2001 10. It’s delicious 9. It’s candy-licious 8. Wasn’t it Einstein who said, “Candy = MC2”? 7. No time to brush? Eat some Junior Mints 6. Sometimes I put on…
Some Music
What are my deepest dreams and is there a sense in which that matters I’d hate for my bleak outlook to unduly influence you I’d hate to impose my will If we are clever and if we are cool and…
What if we…
Nothing’s missing till you need it The heart lies in the darkness Truth flitters like a butterfly When songs come dancing across the water Nobody knows quite how to sing along The fire’s bright But it can’t stamp out the night And…
Searching
Searching for some illusion of authenticity to use Can’t steal nothing, it’s all the same notes We’re all the same in the end All trying to escape ourselves just enough To remember who we really are
Love
When I speak of love Do you hear what I’m saying Deeper and wider and wilder leaves the mind reeling In a world of suffering and horror and tragedy most profound where nothing may matter a parent-less child with a balloon that can’t…
The killer slinks into the night
The killer slinks into the night The faces he all sees barely flicker Across his mind as he stares out into the void The killer slinks out, onto the dance floor His moves jerky and slow Trying to find release…
Mr. Rodges: Existence is but an illusion!
Propel propel propel your craft Gently down liquid solution Ecstatically ecstatically ecstatically ecstatically Existence is but an illusion – Fred Rodgers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXQ5oacei-w context? King Friday’s kingly version of “Row Row Row Your Boat”
There is a hole in the side of the boat
https://youtu.be/OVNU0FZqvbM?t=10s Will McAvoy: There’s a hole in the side of the boat. That hole is never going to be fixed, and it’s never going away, and you can’t get a new boat. This is your boat. What you have…
Anyway you look at it, the universe it mostly empty.
1. The universe tends towards entropy. It all breaks down in the end. 2.Some material chanced to fall together in just such a way that began to replicate it’s pattern. Life. 3. This elaboration produced an illusion of self which…
A Dream of Jedi
50 some odd years after the last catastrophic war, both sides have gone underground. The scene opens in the ranks of Watt & Stephenson Ltd. Watt & Stephenson Ltd. is one of the most profitable entity to ever exist.Its headquarters are…
Three Gods: A Parable?
Three Gods, Call one Truth, and search for justice. Call one Deceit, and search for love. Call one Random, to fill in the gaps. Together they outline a figure. Call it grace. Humbled by experience and shadows that appear malevolent;…
A bridge at the end of the world
There are places where the solid ground we depend on gives way to something less stable. The world we know, air we breathe, the creatures we face, the physics we depend on… all drop away. In times of plenty, thrill-seekers…
Ratdog – Dear Prudence
Dear Prudence by Bob Weir & Ratdog on Grooveshark (with Chuck Garvey) Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day The sky is blue, the birds will sing That you are part of…
Inspiring Reviews
I do not create anything suitable to be reviewed. But if I did, I would hope to inspire reviews like Leonard Cohen: Come to think of it, it’s the kind of story you might hear in a Leonard Cohen song:…
It won’t go on too long
Here is this song Won’t go on too long How long could it possibly be? But for the moment It consumes me Now I got this feeling It’s left me reeling In it’s all consuming wake But…
Traveled to Abingdon
Traveled to Abingdon Dusty, dirty, Tired to the bone Seeking remnants of an old foe Narrowly defeated; presumed gone forever Rumors were all it took To threaten all that I value It was enough to risk my life and more…
And a struggle is coming
The sunrise betrays us As we lie here hiding This day will bring no rest And a struggle is coming
A mystic aphorism shines brightest of all
Using odd language and powerful symbols I arm myself against the ravages of a world slowly sinking Beneath the weight of a crimson sky And a flood foretold By all who wear the flowing white robes Of wisdom What monstrous creatures…
uncomprehended
Open to the sounds around me The doomed beauty of trying The wary travel sidesteps into the inn Trying to generate some interest in him In the final assessment, the critics failed to even take notice The muse has an…
And more luck than our neighbors
The centers of power With their swirling tentacles Shame and infect us all Is this a world we can believe in? The best among us Pulled down by boredom Sleepy jobs in mediocre lives Spiced up only by zombies That…
The messenger arrived By the dark of the night
The messenger arrived By the dark of the night Demanded to speak To the calm of the storm His voice was clear It was quiet It shattered the peace After the riot The spokesman was laid down A blow to the…
Will that make us safe?
What are my deepest dreams and is there a sense in which that matters I’d hate for my bleak outlook to unduly influence you I’d hate to impose my will If we are clever and if we are cool and…
Threatening what little peace is available
The critical consensus is It never existed Not a footnote to say It ever had anything to say And what would that mean anyway? Nihilism unbounds Hearing other sounds That rebound Across the consciousness of the careful observer Standing in…
Kris Kristofferson’s Feeling Mortal: An appreciation
I would like to invite you to listen to Kris Kristofferson’s album Feeling Mortal. I struggle to write anything useful about it, but it means a lot to me. I hear it as a concept album, not about death, but about…
CHILDISH GAMBINO: Indivisible constant of the universe
“Then we get to believe that the laws of randomness break down in at least one place around actor/musician Donald Glover…. this god is a laissez faire ruler of the universe who allows for famine and war and almost infinite…
Heard the sound of one person who cried he was human
Heard the sound of one person who cried he was human
A thought: Life is difficult.
A thought: Life is difficult. A thought: Our humanity opens us to deep pain and sorrow. A thought: These thoughts are engaging. Perhaps I could build a narrative on this. Open scene. A thought: Trying to be compassionate, I still cause deep harm…
There are places geography seems to conspire against the mind,
There are places geography seems to conspire against the mind. The world appears to defy physics. In one such place, a tower appears to narrow and focus all of its attention onto a single room. In this room there is a…
I’m afraid of americans
I’m afraid of americans (mericans) I’m afraid of myself I’m afraid of americans (mericans) I’m afraid of myself I’m on this stage To act the sage And find out if I am well I’m on this stage To act the…
Everything I know, is falling a part
I feel the wind a blowing Coming coming over the hills I feel change a coming Coming through my heart Everything I know, is falling a part Falling a-part But it’s happening so slowly Might as well call it art…
Mostly I’m not
Sometimes I sleep But mostly I don’t Sometimes I wish Mostly I know Sometimes I do good But mostly I don’t Sometimes I’m still Mostly I think Sometimes I am But mostly I’m not Sometimes I’m dismissive Sometimes I’m kind…
Some things you should know about Lambert
Some things you should know about Lambert: He owns and operates a free lending library in the city. When threatened, he wields a broken sword. When it was whole, it was feared by major players of all types. Nobody has…
Perhaps, I should focus on making my empire less lonely
All the lonely little empires Drifting into sand All the lonley little empires How long can they stand? And I think, I think the answers gotta be Not long enough, not long enough for me And I think, I think…
It’s Alright
A band I think you should hear: The Lonetones http://youtu.be/K9bbzkTaUI4?t=8s It’s Alright (Steph Gunnoe) All the lonely whistle blowers of the family Shivering in studios starting to agree All the rules in rituals that once held them down In…
Rolling Stones Autobiography
a tagline: To stare into the infinite darkness and embrace our finitude a motto: something about vulnerability I think a lot about how I might start a biography. Early on I want to highlight the unreliability of the narrator. I…
Unfinished Lyric
I sit in the dark My mind collides with itself Thoughts so stark Unwilling to see itself Vulnerability wants flow Words want to know If they mean something If they should sing I am you You are me I am…
Pointing at some stuff I like
I really like: The concept popularized by John Rawls that when organizing a soceity, a useful thought experiment goes like this: “No one knows his place in society, his class position or social status; nor does he know his fortune…
A quote, a lyric, and some sounds
How is this for a quote?: “The best-adjusted person in our society is the person who is not dead and not alive, just numb, a zombie. When you are dead you’re not able to do the work of the society.…
But what else could it be?
Just a note to say that I have added some content to the In Progress section. Including this bit, which I am quite taken with: Ain’t no salvation Snow freezes on a still night Feeling restless Unable to sleep Snow…
Aldous Huxley Quotes
It helps me keep things in perceptive to recall that other people have already thought, and clearly expressed, whatever it is I think I have to say. All that’s left to produce is debris from my mind. I stumbled across…
If art is… debris from my mind?
If art is some mingling of personal expression and things created to delight and entertain, then this site is now officially tilting towards: debris from my mind. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. “Pebbles and marbles like things…
Cohen’s Poetry
I want to think there are better uses for my time than writing confessionals.
One of the things poetry can do is capture a reality so completely that you can begin to understand its multifaceted truth. It can take that reality and redeem it. It can show you something about grace.
Leonard Cohen was a poet before he was a songwriter.
The ninth song on Leonard Cohen’s 1979 live album is “Memories”. Sung to a do-wop track, the music and vocal swells until Cohen croons
I said “won’t you let me see”
I said “won’t you let me see”
Your naked body?”
It is a moment of sublime beauty, helped along by its place in his popular biography.
Rolling Stones Monkey Man
I invite you to listen to the Rolling Stones Monkey Man, and not belabor the words (the mix certainly doesn’t) and instead listen to the guitar riff that snakes through the song (which plays both the roll of both lead…
Some songs I listened to in 2013
I started to make a playlist of my favorite songs of 2013. Upon reflection, I realized it was just a pretext to mention Kris Kristofferson’s album Feeling Mortal. I still toy with the idea of writing a track by track…
Quotes from an interview between bell hook and John Perry Barlow
I read this interview today, and I thought it deserved a wider audience. When making these types of posts I find myself torn between I. Thinking that there is something ego-less about curating and pointing towards existing content (as opposed…
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou or Moby Dick re-imagined as a comedy of enlightenment
Films like The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, in which he played a fractured Jacques Cousteau, are closer to comedies than they might appear, Murray says, as intellectually tuned to the dynamics of comedy as he is instinctive. “Every single…
Kris Kristofferson Castaway – The internet fails
Just when I think I’m ready to fully embrace instrumental music as the purest experience, I hear records like Kris Kristofferson’s Feeling Mortal. It includes line’s this good: “Because life is a song for the dying to sing” Alongside songs…
Thelonious Sphere Monk – Two facts and a video
Thelonious Sphere Monk was criticized by observers who failed to listen to his music on its own terms, suffered through a decade of neglect before he was suddenly acclaimed as a genius; his music had not changed one bit in…
The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life
I send these missives out into the vast internet without so much as decent search engine optimization to guide them.
forgotten grave, a picture
Death, My Unhelpful Obsession
Here is a passage that resonates deeply with me: The basic premise of The Denial of Death is that human civilization is ultimately an elaborate, symbolic defense mechanism against the knowledge of our mortality, which in turn acts as the…
On writing and memento
I wasn’t a big fan of the movie, but I love this interpretation “A few months ago, I decided it was finally time to see “Memento.” … I saw the movie as a parable of our historical moment. Leonard Shelby,…
Leonard Cohen, albums -The Dove Is Never Free
Leonard Cohen’s work is so good it tends to lift up those who write about him. For instance this line: “… given that “Hallelujah” was as much about triumphing over waning potency as it was about anything religious… ” Today…
Psychedelic Pill – Art and Ageing
Neil Young & Crazy Horse have finally released a follow up to 2012’s Americana. As Neil Young has gotten older, the artifice of his songwriting has fallen away. This leads unashamedly clunky to passages like this: I was born in Ontario I was born…
Three thoughts about the Rolling Stones – Gloom and Doom
The emotional heart of my recent science-fiction/corporate espionage short story was inspired by Rolling Stones imagery. I am not entirely comfortable with my proclivity to treat real people as mythological figures in my internal cosmology. Nonetheless I recently returned to thinking…
A Short Story
I have placed some words together in a specific order, with the express purpose of entertaining potential readers. I have not put enough words together that the result can correctly be referred to as a novel… or even a novelette.…
Tumblr, Reflecting on A Sense of An Ending
Why do I have a tumblr? I’m not sure yet. But I’ll never find out if I don’t post anything there. So I wrote some reflections on John Barnes novel The Sense of An Ending. Instead of putting them here,…
On the Marriage Equality Issue
EDIT: here is the link. What I really wanted to post here was a link to an NPR interview I heard years ago with an evangelical involved in the creation of the Moral Majority. I wanted to post this because…
Playing favorites: Cameron Crowe, redeeming Elizabehtown and trying my hand at film criticism
Q: What is your favorite film? A: An unhelpful question. “Favorite” is vague enough to be meaningless and my answer is likely to change based on a variety of social contexts – none of which come into play when questioning…
A short tuft. A flibbertigibbet. A will-o’-the-wisp. A clown
A thought too long for twitter. This is such a stunningly good line it deserves notice beyond those who want to know if Marie Antoinette is a good film: “1. This is Sofia Coppola’s third film centering on the loneliness…
Beyond Problematic: Dr’s lying to patients in Kansas
I don’t have any special expertise in politics and even less in medical ethics, but thankfully some issues don’t require it. “Arizona and Kansas are considering bills that would ban lawsuits in cases where doctors fail to warn their patients…
Twitter Thoughts
I was considering changing my status message in my chat client to “My heart is in the highlands”. Most of the people who would see it would ignore it. Some of my friends would either look it up, or know…
The Power is Yours For the Taking
Greetings Stumblers, A purple goat You hold the power in your hands. You can change the course of a life. Lives. If you walk away, nothing happens. But if you click the thumbs up button… If you share this link……
Insightful Commentary
So far I’ve managed to moderate all the comments to my blog posts without resorting to a Captcha service. This gives me access to the full range of spam bots. Given that my posts so far consist almost entirely of…
Disclaimers; Non-Canonical Editions and Drafts
Disclaimer: I’m cheating, or at least playing a different game. I am using distribution channels (Kindle, Nook, Diesel etc…) to push out something that is not quite what people expect from them.* When I give my book away in the…
Et tu Amazon?: Meet the new boss
I am contractually obligated to have an opinion on the amazon controversies (here and here), so I thought awhile and got one. My first instinct is to side with the small startup ebookshops (yay Diesel) and local businesses. But why…
Does my free novel devalue entertainment? OR Why do I hurt the ones I love?
Note: This post was originally conceived of as a forum topic here. Exhibit A: I believe that creative/intellectual endeavors frequently bring value into the world, even when they are digital objects. Exhibit B: I have decided the best thing (for me) to do with my novel is to…
Andy Rooney
Andy Rooney died a few months ago. Today I came across the column of his that made me fall in love with him. I loved that created a solid, entertaining column about his love of wood. I came to his…
Life – Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, Media Images and so on
Eventually this post will resolve into a minor point of media criticism. But it starts with… I just finished “reading” the Keith Richards “autobiography” Life. Whew, that was a lot of hyperlinks. The word reading is in quotations because I listened…
The Value of Publishing
Towards the end of Avoiding Space Madness, Darwin starts ranting about how hard it is to find a truly comfortable chair. This is a minor scene, but it does a few things. It illuminates Darwin’s temperament and history; it fills in some details about the world he inhabits, and it was fun to write. It’s a good solid piece of writing.
I wrote the first draft of it over four years ago,