My Star Wars Pitch

Kylo, Poe and Han Solo stop off in a seedy bar following rumors about the whereabouts of Luke.

As the camera pans the room, the audience sees a variety of bizarre, but strangely familiar alien forms.

Without warning, Hans face explodes. The music stops. In shock, the group is too horrified to respond when an alien walks up to the table holding a blaster. He stares at Hans slumping corpse and says “Message from Greedo, ‘How about a ‘heads up’ next time.'”

“Get it? Heads up? I almost went with ‘who shot first ya nerf-hearder?’ but … Ah never mind… I… Kids these days”.

Greedo’s old comrade walks away chuckling grimly to himself. The camera pulls away, but we hear him mumble to himself, barely audible, “I thought that make me feel better… but…”

The music starts up again covering whatever he was going to say next.

Overwhelmed with grief, and seeking justice, Chewbacca and Leia lead the rebel alliance in an assault on the nominally Republic controlled planet of Bal’Gru.

The last time Luke engaged in intergalactic politics he earned himself the moniker Starkiller and a permanently haunted gaze. Sensing the impending genocide and the harm it will cause his sister Luke breaks his vow and comes out of retirement.

Final scene: The larger war wages is the background as Luke tries to reach his old friends on the surface of Bal’Gru. A climatic light saber battle erupts between Luke and a mysterious figure dressed in black (Spoiler: Sith Lord Darth Binks).

They are at a standstill, Luke still afraid of his own power, when Ben (Han & Leia’s son) intervenes, siding with his newfound mentor. The result: Luke’s hand flying off into the abyss.

The physical pain is excruciating, but its the psychological wounds that bring Luke to his knees.

As they walk away the figure in black sees the dismay on Ben’s face.

Seizing the moment he days “Ben if we are to save this backwater planet, and avoid pointless bloodshed, I cannot hide the truth from you any longer. I’m not I’m not just here to check in on you as a last favor to your father. It’s time I told you about your true destiny… ”

Ben’s innermost fantasy of secretly being of tremendous importance finally validated, the closing shot is of Ben’s goofy, infectious smile.

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